It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
