Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
