I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
