he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
