is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
