the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
