If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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