Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
