Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
