i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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