Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize