Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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