You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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