your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
