My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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