if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
