Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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