I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize