So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize