...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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