and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
sarcasm needs its own font
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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