idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
