I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
