Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
