Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
