Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
