I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
