i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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