ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
