um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
