Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
