There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
