oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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