Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
