Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
