So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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