someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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