Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
