This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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