I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
