IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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