I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize