i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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