We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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