i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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