it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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