i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There r osticjed everywhere
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
