Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
