My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Why is there bacon in the couch?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
