ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
