Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
