Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
