All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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