I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
