we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
