I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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