I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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